Emotion/Psychological suggestion request:
I caught a lot of verbal abuse growing up, and the net effect is that I take nearly any criticism or raised voices as a reason to get into heated defensive arguments (irrespective of whether I’m right or wrong about whatever it is).
Has anyone found a way to help mitigate the hair trigger response kind of deal? I can always see it in retrospect and make apologies, but it’d be better all around if I could interrupt the reflex.
I see guidance like “take a deep breath” which isn’t within my ability when the ‘red mist’ descends. Any ideas?
I'm really sorry you endured abuse growing up.
Hair triggers are very hard to control. I used to lash out when my anxiety ran hot. I've learned to stop, breathe and think before reacting. It took a lot of practice. Nothing works overnight.
I suggest checking Amazon for self help books on the topic.
Whatever you try, please be kind and patient with/to yourself. Learning new behaviors takes time, but it is possible. 💞
@JoyfullyDazed I’m less motivated with being kind/patient with myself as I am the people close to me. They’ve suffered this for far too long, frankly. I should be further along at this juncture.
The description says it for marriage, but I read it because I believe the suggestions in the book can be applied to all relationships.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope you find the solution you're searching for. You deserve peace. 💞
@MookyTroubadour
Honestly, you can't fix situations with others until you fix yourself. It's understandable that you'd be focused on those you're close to. You've been through a lot, and it sounds like you have immense empathy for others. But you are important, too.
There's a book called Us:
"Us is a groundbreaking guide to a new science-backed skillset—one that will allow you to get past your knee-jerk reactions and tap into your wiser, more collaborative self."
https://a.co/d/gD3kJ6y