Emotion/Psychological suggestion request:

I caught a lot of verbal abuse growing up, and the net effect is that I take nearly any criticism or raised voices as a reason to get into heated defensive arguments (irrespective of whether I’m right or wrong about whatever it is).

Has anyone found a way to help mitigate the hair trigger response kind of deal? I can always see it in retrospect and make apologies, but it’d be better all around if I could interrupt the reflex.

I see guidance like “take a deep breath” which isn’t within my ability when the ‘red mist’ descends. Any ideas?