Still I don't know what I will do tomorrow or even on Christmas Eve. My mind is blocked. My heartbeats are fast as Sonic going fast and I usually I don't have the memory I used to have (takes a few minutes to remember what I wanted to say or even think). Stress? Of course. Anxiety? Yup. Desperate and nervous as fuck? Oh man, you don't know how. Like Arnie in Terminator: "I need a vacation" (mentally), to recharge myself and face everything with a better and stronger mentality.