UPDATE: Google play has responded to my appeal. Here's their response and the screenshot which THEY included, which clearly shows the features they say are not there or not clear enough for users.
Who do we know inside Google, preferably Google Play Store?
@th3j35t3r - dude! I realize they're probably looking at code, and your code is just a webview, but... WTF?
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I love the smell of code in the morning...Smells like VICTORY