Ask “What?” instead of “Why?”
When people assess their current state, emotions, and environment, they all too often ask, “Why?” Like, “Why am I feeling so sad? Why did my boss give me that feedback? Why isn’t my project going the way I’d hoped?”
Here’s why asking “Why?” is ineffective: research has shown you don’t have access to a lot of your unconscious thoughts, feelings, and motives
Odds are, you’re wrong about why you act, do, or think certain things.
Research has also found people who are introspective are more likely to ruminate on negative thoughts when evaluating the self. Self-evaluation through “Why” questions could leave you feeling depressed and anxious, while being entirely unproductive.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-introverts-corner/201302/introspection-versus-rumination
Rather than asking “Why,” highly self-aware people ask, “What?” “What” questions are more productive, and focuses on objectives and future goals, rather than past mistakes
When I was training to become a school psychologist, one of the running jokes was answering 'why' questions...
The patient says "Why" and the therapist responds with "Because you're a Shit."
Now that that is out of the way, we can move into our therapy...