Sending a random burst of love, well-wishing, and warmth @NiveusLepus's way.
I hope our dear Bun and buddy is taking good care of herself. The work of being present so much and so often with others is wonderful *and* can take a toll.
May you always feel supported in turn, and remember that your core value lies not in what you *do* for others, but in the sheer fact of being you. π«π
π The world of human rules sets hard expectations on the animal in us all. What greater "discipline" is the critter supposed to have, simply to exist on this good Earth?
We touch base just to say that you matter, and that we hope you're doing well - with no pressure to try to juggle being here with everything else!
May you be ever so kind with yourself as you get back in the swing of things.
May the soft animal of your body not be weighed down by unfair pressures to perform. π
@MLClark I hold myself to higher standards than I should, but its more than that. One of the reasons I pursue the disciplines I pursue, and push as hard as I do, is that I want to be here. I want to be present.
These moments we have together are a privilege, and we never know if more are coming. Being able to seize about my routines and disciplines enable me to be more present and aware. They allow me to seize upon these instants and make the most of them.
@MLClark I am still learning balance, and sometimes life does not afford me the chance for balance. The refrain of the last few months has been if not me, who else?
It's hard to say no, when you know that you're the only option for a person. If my presence means someone able to make a move or not, or keep their livelihood or not, it's very hard to defer to ideas like rest
IT all catches up with me. I've spent to many days as of late curled up in my chair, over indulging more than I should.
@MLClark Yet, by refusing to sit in judgement, I've come to understand how much I've neglected mindful rest, which is contributing to this long cycle I've found myself in before.
We are all a work in progress. This level of nuance will probably be something I will continue to struggle with, but I will keep coming back around.
Coso is my home, and its a home because of the people here.
As one person who often forgets to put on their own life vest first to another: I hear you, and I know it's not always possible to prioritize personal comfort over the ability to help someone in dire need.
I would never tell anyone to do what I can't myself: if I can ease despair, I will, even if it comes at some personal cost.
So--
I'll only say that you are *seen*, and that even if you can't put your needs first, it doesn't mean they don't matter.
They always, always do. π«π
@MLClark @NiveusLepus You guys...I'm getting a little verklempt! You're both such amazing peeps!
@Ironworker229 It's easy to get emotional. You're one of the group that makes my Coso fantastic.
@NiveusLepus @MLClark I don't, generally. You two and a few other folks here just seem to push my buttons on occasion. It's a good thing. π
@MLClark I've been struggling hard this last month, I will admit
Mentally I'm doing ok, but my discipline and routine has wavered among a general feeling of exhaustion
I have been attempting to give myself time, but I'm working at getting back on the bounce and back to normal routines
I know I haven't been online much here. This is one of the places I miss most, but when I burn out hard, I tend to bunker in
I miss this community. Ya'll make me feel not just welcome but celebrated and loved.