@MLClark I hold myself to higher standards than I should, but its more than that. One of the reasons I pursue the disciplines I pursue, and push as hard as I do, is that I want to be here. I want to be present.
These moments we have together are a privilege, and we never know if more are coming. Being able to seize about my routines and disciplines enable me to be more present and aware. They allow me to seize upon these instants and make the most of them.
@MLClark I am still learning balance, and sometimes life does not afford me the chance for balance. The refrain of the last few months has been if not me, who else?
It's hard to say no, when you know that you're the only option for a person. If my presence means someone able to make a move or not, or keep their livelihood or not, it's very hard to defer to ideas like rest
IT all catches up with me. I've spent to many days as of late curled up in my chair, over indulging more than I should.
@MLClark Yet, by refusing to sit in judgement, I've come to understand how much I've neglected mindful rest, which is contributing to this long cycle I've found myself in before.
We are all a work in progress. This level of nuance will probably be something I will continue to struggle with, but I will keep coming back around.
Coso is my home, and its a home because of the people here.