I received a funny comment today. I'd mentioned that I write about a wide range of topics on my newsletter - democracy watch, media literacy, global humanism, climate change, economics, scientific literacy, historiography - but this more conservative person then explained why he doesn't engage with it.
The "moods" comment is hilariously patronizing, but I also know that, while I advocate for constructive dissent as critical to democratic thinking, many see dissent as intrinsically negative. /x
And I don't share the above to make fun of the person suggesting that my "moods" make him afraid to comment on my work.
The comment speaks to something bigger: a view of dissent I see a lot in our small-c conservative climate.
It's really hard to build a healthy conversation when folks (for whatever reason) are afraid to share how they really feel about something.
The question is how to build a society where people don't see dissent as dangerous. Constructive dialogue is hard--but necessary!
Pretty full of themselves,
if I do say, @MLClark 🙄
He took a couple of rhetoric classes recently. He is very proud of what he learned from them! 😅 Like a first-year psych student who warns everyone that they now know how to manipulate the masses.
Read like some fancy-shmancy mansplaining to me, @MLClark
😅 Garden variety, honestly.
But not a bad first attempt! Maybe after a few more classes, he'll ace the assignment.
"You can't handle the truth," wordily paraphrased, @MLClark 😉
It is very cute that he thinks his dissent would just devastate me.
I hope you're having a fun day yourself! The mall has grown too loud for work (everyone's too excited!), so I'm packing up to head home for the next three hours to finish a key task. Then game time!
Looking forward to the game, @MLClark. Hoping Colombia can pull off the upset. I do get the feeling CONMEBOL has predetermined this is Argentina's trophy. Hope I'm wrong.
I agree, but there's always a chance that Colombia will play well enough to keep officials from having the opportunity to skew results! 🤞🏻
I hope so, @MLClark 🤞 I've been a James fan since he played with Bayern.
@MLClark Worries about your moods? Patronizing? Unless he knows you personally, BS
@MLClark Sexist BS at that
The one positive is that I simply had to receive that comment; the person who wrote it has to live with that view of others in his head all the time. 😬
@MLClark
Men don't have "moods" I suppose. 🤔
Some would have you believe "hungry" "horny" and "sleepy" are it, but what a self-limiting POV!
We had a great convo with one of the nephews yesterday. When he shared how surprised he'd been to see a soccer player cry, his dad, his mum, and I all took turns talking about how healthy it can be to express sadness that way - each using examples of other strong male role models who've cried in public. It was such a great moment to see him onboard this as part of how he can be.
@MLClark It's sad that a lot of women also push that stereotype. Like it's ok for a man to get angry, but anything else is too girly.
When I worked at a bookstore, some of the WORST customers were older women afraid that books with too much colour were inappropriate for their boys. I literally had one grandmother upset that we were marketing colour boardbooks to *infant boys*. Others would expressly push their preteens away from sweeter YA reads to ones with more violence and grimmer settings. 🙄
What a toxic world we weave sometimes!
@MLClark "Are you sad? Did you get bullied at school? Did some girl break up with you? Come on son, stop whinging like a girl. Let's go buy you a gun." 🙄
Or if the kid comes home with injuries, "Boy, you best be telling me the other kid went away worse. No son of mine starts fights, but he always finishes them!"
There is a time and a place for many forms of response to bullies, but shaming your hurting child for not having been "victorious" in whatever fight they just came from is no way to make them feel safer at home than they were with the bully at school. We lay *so* many psychological wounds upon one another from early on.
@MLClark I used to think it was harder to grow up as a girl, but boys have plenty of different stuff to carry. 😕
Definitely! Quite a few studies suggest that socioeconomic precarity and political instability yield *much* more extreme outcomes for young boys than young girls. When a household gains more financial stability, or when a country gains more peaceful conditions, male "behavioural problems" plummet much more dramatically.
We don't like to talk about the role of environment on individual outcomes--and yet, a world less toxic for girls is also one less toxic for all. 🤞🏻 One day.
@MLClark @nonayadambidnes Wait, what? You're telling me there's actually an answer to what I thought was a purely rhetorical question: "Why are men?"
🤣🤣🤣 I know, right?
For years, women and their "wandering wombs" were considered a mystery - formed by an ill wind or stunted "seed" during conception - but lately lads get a turn at carrying the intrigue!
So don't let me take away the mystery with tedious social science! I'm just always rooting for you fellas getting to be your full, wonderful, wacky, gentle-strong, loving, hurting, curious, ever-growing, sweet, serious, & sometimes gassy selves.
@MLClark You've attracted a negger! That must mean you're doing something right, or they wouldn't be trying to condescend to you.
I believe that being clear about our subject-positions is the path not only to personal integrity but also a flourishing pluralist society and democracy. But I'm also not surprised that holding my opinions strongly might make others afraid to answer with strong opinions of their own. (And if they foist that fear off on me, as not wanting to "upset" me, so be it.)
But the whole point of sharing ideas is to be part of a bigger conversation. How dull that chat would be, if we all thought alike! /×