Every now and then I try to bond with my very difficult father.
I shared a note yesterday telling him my next novel is almost ready to submit to my agent.
As per usual, he ignored the notice (he calls it "parental envy", which keeps him from celebrating any success on my side) & sent along his usual random death notice, which always serves as a tacit lament about how his own life is near its end (and has been for decades)--implying that everyone needs to cater to his fears of mortality first.
It's a heartbreaking thing, among atheists.
He should know better, but he spent so much of his life raging against theism that he never built a better praxis for himself, of wonder for the brief time we get as conscious beings in the cosmos. It's possible to be atheist and still tethered to toxic religious models about what a life "should be".
I grieve routinely how much time he frittered away on cruelty, hate, & narcissim, when he could have deepened in delight at the wonder of life itself. 🌌
@MLClark
there are so many who fit this description. 🥺
it's very sad to waste the opportunity that a precious human body provides even though struggling is part and parcel of it.
fragile and imperfect, but doing its best to carry us through to enlightenment.