@NiveusLepus

It's easier to shine in a whole sky of standout hearts. 🤗

Thank you for all *you* do - and congratulations on that tremendous freedom from student debt! I was walking on air for a whole month the moment I cleared my education debt a few years back (with a LOT of help).

I hope you are breathing *so* much more freely today, and hereafter. 💛

@MLClark It feels quite surreal. Going to college was supposed to be the right choice, and a guarantee of a good job, but the gamble never paid off.

I learned a very hard way that I don't function well in regular jobs and life was a constant struggle at the edge of poverty, until I connected with my partner who makes enough to make up for my inadequacies in that department.

The 60k in debt was always a millstone around my neck and I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be clear of it.

@MLClark I spent most of my twenties making at or a few dollars above minimum wage, bouncing from job to job on a roughly six month to a year basis

I'd get into a very bad place with my mental health and have to choose between breathing, and working

Thing is, as a free form wanderer, I do pretty well, moving from thing to thing, helping folks for a few weeks here and there

Between that and writing I do pretty well but its hard to pay that student debt as an itinerant eccentric. Much less eat

@NiveusLepus

I used to believe I was worth more dead because of my debt. I packed up the apartment I could barely afford many times, wrote letters, planned my end--all because I'd grown up with relentless financial anxiety & couldn't see any way out no matter what I did.

Study after study shows that mental crises are strongly correlated with financial precarity. But we believe *we're* at fault all the same.

I'm so glad you found people who reminded you that you are *more*--and always were. 💙

@MLClark That sounds familiar. I still struggle with the whole worth thing because I don't make much, but I still do a lot of work writing and traveling to help folks and what not.

We are by no means wealthy and we kind of cling to "lower middle class" existence on the one income. There's not a lot in savings and what not. We could do better at management but well...

But if I was bringing in more on the regular, we'd be a lot better, but well...as said...

@NiveusLepus

The struggle goes on, on this side, too.

I feel like a burden in many seasons, and I struggle with how hard it's been to find myself in a position to contribute as much as I want to, despite the mess of things.

I knew the first time we chatted that there was something beautifully kindred in your heart.

You are so much *more* than what you produce--but I know the daily struggle to remember this truth, so I'm just glad we're fellow travellers in the ongoing journey to be kind. 🫂❤️

@MLClark I very much see a kindred soul in you. Our journeys have many similarities, as do our motivations.

The ultimate dream would be to wander from place to place, helping folks as I found them or as I was needed. Which is much of what I do now when I'm not writing. I've built fences, packed up and moved house cross country, helped folks recover from surgery, or just kept people company that were having a mental health crisis for a number of months while they worked to get well.

1/2

@MLClark There's a lot of logistical stuff that makes that hard. It costs money to travel, and to live all those things. There have been times where I've found myself in places that weren't safe, so I have an understanding of how bad things could go, but I figure if I go down, I'd like to go down believing as it were.

So yeah, the dream would to just do that more, to always be on the go, with a small pack, and the willingness to see where the Gods take me, and to whom they bring me too.