Every now and then, I make a genuine bid at connection with a father who just cannot bring himself to do anything not on his terms.

It was met, as usual, with the silent treatment. I know he'll never change. I know he'll go to his grave this way.

My only responsibility is to forgive myself for making the bid at all, when I know it just gives him a chance to punish me for not doing things on his terms.

Ah well. I take what I'm feeling & use it in the work. Should be an interesting writing day!