Every now and then, I make a genuine bid at connection with a father who just cannot bring himself to do anything not on his terms.
It was met, as usual, with the silent treatment. I know he'll never change. I know he'll go to his grave this way.
My only responsibility is to forgive myself for making the bid at all, when I know it just gives him a chance to punish me for not doing things on his terms.
Ah well. I take what I'm feeling & use it in the work. Should be an interesting writing day!
Oh, what a gift this sharing is, even if its wisdom was so hard-won. Thank you, ATXJane. đź’›
And you're right. We're often habituated to so much toxicity from our wounds that there is a genuine *lift* that comes from doing the work that lets us lay down new and better habits in their stead.
Thank *you* for your courage to move forward. What a brilliant light that striving lends to the world. May its glow always keep you well. 💫 🤗
@MLClark
Thank you for your incredibly kind words.
I have to acknowledge deep, deep gratitude to the people who taught & helped me.
There’s a bumper sticker I really like: “Its never too late to have a happy childhood.” With the right work, the brain reprocesses our memories/neural nets and perceives things differently.
But oh how nice it would’ve been —for all of us— not to need to do that work.