I often wonder at the human capacity to be *so* down on oneself while inundated by so much evidence of what actual cruelty looks like.
To agonize over personal failure & guilt in a world where "success" is so often bestowed on people responsible for the most reprehensible acts...
We're all such messy critters.
But gentling despair at our messiness is crucial - because it gives us more space to tackle the ruins all around.
So try not to forget, eh?
Kindness with ourselves is activism, too.
In "meta" practice, within Buddhism one must start with placing loving kindness on oneself. Before moving outward. This is so important, so under valued, that when I used to teach meta practice we would spend one whole day just doing this.
It was startling to many that this was hard to do honestly and with conviction, and just not fake it. Yet it is vital. Imagine holding yourself as if a newborn, place the same care, love and wonder on yourself.
Well said ♥️ and rather ironic in that I was having a similar conversation with my physical therapist yesterday.
I needed reminding to approach my weight loss goal in terms of feeling better and not, "damnit, I need to lose XXX amount and I'm not doing it fast enough and I'm failing and..." I've been negatively trained for far too long by the medical establishment that I "have" to be at a stupid BMI #.
It sounds like you have amazing teammate on your health journey now. Those are so rare - and as you note, easily overwhelmed by a lifetime's exposure to the alternative.
Also crushing is the fact that weight loss is only sustainable if the way we lose it comes with lifelong changes: it is *not* possible with *any* "push and punish yourself in the short term!" mentality.
But that's our culture, too: valuing the performance of suffering over systems of genuine self-love & care. 🫂💛
That's part of my wall, for lack of a better word. I get to thinking of the future & end up feeling overwhelmed and then deprived when these thoughts are nothing more than a set-up for failure.
@MLClark there is a balance. I don't think we can be unkind to ourselves and be healthy. I don't think we can overlook all our own flaws and be healthy, either. So many people are all-or-nothing people. Honestly self-aware, humble, gently funny, slightly flawed, kind-to-self-and-others people are my favorites.
Yes. Self-aggression is murderous, and all too common.
@MLClark Spouse used to work for some Welch proteges, in aerospace.
@MLClark oh he has some choice words about the Jack Welch school of thought.
Relatedly, Behind the Bastards this week is on Jack Welch, and Part 2 is an *excellent* reminder that our current workplace / economic woes were made, not naturally occurring.
(Part 1 has solid parts related to how "welfare capitalism" used to be something that companies like General Electric celebrated, earning employee loyalty through a genuine investment in them - but you can also dive right into Part 2 to learn about the rise of modern toxic workplaces.)
#Podcasts
https://podcasts.apple.com/nl/podcast/part-two-jack-welch-is-why-you-got-laid-off/id1373812661