I'm an older Millennial. Autism was not a word we used when I was young. As a young parent I had autism described as a very specific set of negative behaviors, because autism was defined by the problems it caused (same as ADHD). But that's not accurate.

A lot of neurodivergence isn't what people picture when you say autism or ADHD. A lot of the behaviors and experiences that people picture are neurodivergence under extreme stress. It's like defining hunger as being near death because of starvation.

And I don't 100% subscribe to the idea that there is ND and NT like some binary code. I think it's far likely that we have a range of neurotypes and several of the more common workplace neurotypes have defined themselves as NT because that's their worldview as of 1930-something.

So I've spent more time recently listening to people describe autism in their terms vs clinical terms. And we're finally reaching a point where autistic people with well-balanced and healthy lives are common enough that we're seeing their stories come to light.

It's a familiar story.

We have two kids who doctors have said are autistic, and they exhibit very autistic traits under stress. But, when calm and in control of their environment... they're just like me.

And then people are surprised they're autistic.