Are people not curious enough to ask about you / have a two-way conversation, or has there been an etiquette shift that deems questions invasive, so no one asks anything and instead talks about themselves? I think this is a genuine question.
@Lena_Tasi i ask about peeps all the time. i find peeps 💜 to talk about themselves or their passions or things they really enjoy. i find questions don't have to be invasive to show a respectful curiosity in others. maybe that's just me?
@singlemaltgirl @Lena_Tasi IDK. I experience trepidation in asking anything. I find conversation so much less likely to be misinterpreted if I jump in, like here, as a responder instead of an initiator.
@FindBooksToRead oh, if we're talking social media, then i tend to respond to posts more than i post myself or ask questions. but in person, where i have body language & other social cues to go on, i don't mind jumping in & asking questions. if i get the sense peeps don't want to talk, i excuse myself easily enough. but i know not everyone feels comfortable or able to do this. @Lena_Tasi
@singlemaltgirl @Lena_Tasi In person, I 100% agree. That's why I turn my camera on in Zoom calls too. But here, for example, although I would love to talk writing and projects, I hesitate to be bold enough to initiate.
@FindBooksToRead that's ok. i can understand your reservations. & if responding or reacting to convos feels more comfortable. then by all means. what kinds of projects?
and there are quite a few writers on here who post quite regularly so there should be convos you might see that feel safe enough to wade into...possibly? @Lena_Tasi
@singlemaltgirl @Lena_Tasi There are! Lena, in fact, exchanged some helpful thoughts with me. Projects? I have many. One of my resolutions for this year (it is good to have goals!) was to focus on finishing. But I write genre fiction, nonfiction, and poetry. Short form and long form. I love to talk process and peeves and solutions.
I think people are more open than ever. So many topics used to be taboo that are not today.
I was taught to not give unsolicited advice to others, as it causes them to resist. Instead, to tell my own experiences so they can choose whether or not to take something away from my experience.
@Lena_Tasi What do you think about it?
@ianthealy I really don’t know. I understand a conversation (in person) to be give and take. Both express interest. Both ask questions or address the other person’s statements. What I see a lot of, though, is people talking AT people about themselves and stopping when they’re done, rather than engaging the other person by asking something about them. (Often, if they do ask something, it’s to lead you into another story about them.)
@ianthealy It’s not just me seeing this. My husband is the receptacle for a lot of word bursts at his job. He’s met a lot of new people who are very excited to talk AT him, but not WITH him.
@Lena_Tasi @ianthealy That is an interesting observation. I see that sometimes at work, but usually only with the newbies (first job) or new higher ups bent on justifications.
@FindBooksToRead Both of those cases make so much sense! I had wondered if it had something to do with age (younger), but when it happens to my husband, it's with people our own age, so it's not that.
@ianthealy Also, I see what you did there.
@Lena_Tasi It would have been much easier to speak about my own opinions, being a man and all. Lol
@Lena_Tasi it’s sad but true…I love getting to know people, but it just seems too many shut down and can’t/won’t open up. Like there is nothing wrong with asking questions to get to know someone. I mean how is anyone going to date in the near term if you don’t get to know them….