Wife: watcha doin'?
Kurt: food.
::Cuts chocolate croissant in half, puts just cooked bacon in middle, microwaves 12 seconds::
Wife: how on gods green earth do you still have functioning arteries?
Kurt: 🤷♀️
Kurt: 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤 :: inappropriate moaning sounds intensify::
Wife: okay, make me one.
#kurtsgonnabefine
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Wife: mmmmmmm, God I love you!!!
Me: I love you too 😍
Wife: I was talking to choco-bacon croissant.
Me: 🤔 fair enough.