Welp, been back home for a few days, after having taken care of my dad for what feels like forever but was really only a couple of months.
Not done, either: I'll prob'ly be visiting him at least weekly for a while to make sure he's doing OK, help him with house cleanup & projects, & just get time with the old man anyway.
It was hard, & still is, & it's OK too. I've gotten more time 1:1 with my dad in the past couple of months than I think I had for years.
I feel like access to him came through her: what we knew about him was always filtered through mom's impressions, info about him mostly came from her... it was always a treat to learn about dad's life from someone else. Like his parents.
It's like I'm really just getting to know my dad now, at the end of his life.
& it's weird: I don't actually feel like I've missed anything, because I feel like he's had *a whole life* he can now tell me about.
It's really hard knowing just how big a wall my mom was between dad and his kids.