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A "stipend" sounds like something that involves a proctologist.
No, no "stipends" for me, thank you.

@EdgeOErin Church of England stipends are so meagre, that they can stick em where the monkey put his nut.

@EdgeOErin Etymology
Middle English, alteration of stipendy, from Latin stipendium, from stip-, stips gift + pendere to weigh, pay

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