I have mentioned before that people exist in their own individual realities ... and that inside of those realities they have their own understandings, own vocabulary, their own definitions, and their own perceptions of things outside of that reality.
That includes their perception of you.
You are not the same person to everyone ... there is no way you could be given everyone's understanding of you is subjective.
You are different in everyone's reality.
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Most people are only hearing things from you that confirm what they ALREADY feel about you ...
20% is their own subjective beliefs and the rest is what you're actually giving through your actual character.
What you say and how you behave is filtered through so much of someone else's own mental deficiencies, trauma, bias, etc that you can't be certain they are seeing you with any real clarity.
I think actually 20% is too low ... I think it's maybe closer to 70%.
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You can only be you.
No matter how much you try to be your most authentic self, people will still only see you through THEIR OWN FILTERS ... and there is no way that vision could be accurate to who you are.
Just keep that in mind.
Friend of mine used to say that each of us can only understand others as an extensions of, ourselves. He said it was "them as me"... Joe as me, Margaret as me, etc.
As an optimist, I think we do see each other a little--but still through a heavily colored lens.
@tyghebright I am in agreement with your friend in that everyone's reality is 100% about them as the center which is why most people are so quick to center themselves in everyone's world because it's the only way they can recognize themselves. It stands to reason that anyone outside of that reality HAS to be an extension of them because it's all most people understand. It takes a very specific kind of person to recognize the world outside of their own reality and "see" others as individuals.
People have a set version of you in their minds ... and if they ever explained that version of you honestly you might be surprised to know that it's different from how you think you are coming across.
How someone understands you or perceives you is not something you can control ... especially strangers who don't care about you or respect you or know you. They will make assumptions based on their own bias and their own subjective understandings and you cannot undo that ...
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