Just watched a clip on friend types. It says there are two kinds of friends. One you tell your problems to and get empathy. One you tell your problems to and get solutions.
Which type are you? I think I am both. But it's gonna be empathy first for me.
Depends on who I'm talking with. Most people I have known will say they want solutions, but really don't, they just want empathy. I always start there, and feel my way slowly if I think they may actually want solutions I can help with.
@misterfive @CinnamonGirlE: That's often true. The bulk of people I know, including close friends and family, just want to vent, even if they say they want solutions. (Learned that the hard way over a long period of time.) Folks usually want to get stuff of their chest, to decompress, so they can keep doing the same thing(s) that brings on these spells. It isn't villainy or anything but just because change is hard and solutions require consistent effort and patience.
@thedisasterautist @CinnamonGirlE
Exactly. Change can cause a lot of inner conflict and resistance. If I offer anything remotely solution-like, and the answer is some reason why that won't work, I chalk it up to internal conflict and resistance, and shift right back to empathy. I know I'm not always able to be receptive to other people's solutions, especially when I just wanted to vent, so I extend grace to others in that regard. I often know the solution anyway, I just want a different one.
@thedisasterautist @misterfive
Both of which are difficult in and of themselves.