: This completely vibes with my observation and experience over the course of my life, both as a late-dx autistic human person with (managed-ish, finally) ADHD.
#AspieLife #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: That doesn't do much anything about what some to many said and did, which usually includes things that cannot be taken back or remedied (such as slander and libel, reputational damages), but it provides insight, which is something at least.
@thedisasterautist I haven't thought about that aspect. Some people close to me took a long time to understand what my deal is, but I suspect to an outside observer, it can be just as hard getting into the head of someone on the spectrum as it can be for us to understand what's going in normies' heads.
It's a two way street, and I try to be more open about it and make it easier for people to peek inside. It's a work in progress, but so far I had no disasters at least.
@EntropySloth: My life has been full of such disasters, alas.
@thedisasterautist I'm sorry to hear that.
Life is already hard enough as it is without people making it harder on each other unnecessarily.
I had a lot of difficulties when I was ~15-25 years old, but I started to observe and think about social interactions very consciously. I got to a point where I can mostly function among normies, so long as they are relatively civil. Being obnoxiously polite has worked surprisingly well for me, bc I'm practically incapable of confrontational behavior.
This must really suck. 😞
@mikeesternb: TBH, I accepted it as a fait accompli long ago, and it, along with other observations and experiences over time, has revealed to me a lot about humans. When I share those data sets with most people, they tend to be surprised, often telling me that I haven't examined my life or the things that have happened and that I've seen/heard directly correctly, it so goes against their own ego and ow they believe the world is and/or should be. It isn't that I'm a nihilist, just a realist.
Unfortunately, we humans, as a collective species, tend to really suck.
But I do still recognize that there are good individual examples in the wild.
@mikeesternb: I meet lot of good people who don't have or feel they don't have the time very often to take things in, to think, to process things, and alas, they rush to judgment, overreact and/or underreact to some things because they confuse them with *other* things, and/or just get a beehive frustration, confusion, and resentment in their heads because it feels like everything, everywhere, all at once in their heads. Then when the get to breathe finally, they don't want to think about it.
@mikeesternb: Then when they do finally think about it they feel bad, which then causes other emotions and triggers more reactions that enclouden things for them, and it takes many quite a while to process it all because regular life doesn't pause.
An unfortunate Catch-22 cycle.
@mikeesternb: I don't tend to ascribe villainy, not all that often, though villainy certainly does happen. My observation and experience, not to mention study, led me to the conclusion that it's just humans. I believe most do the best they can, as do I. We're just not perfect.
: That said, very often the people that hurt me rather than tried to understand were very much insisting that I understand them *while* I was trying to and often did understand them or at least was understanding them more than not and making allowances. It's that they were very hung up on previously not being understand and hurt that they couldn't/wouldn't respond with fight *and* flight.
(I know because often later, usually years later, we discussed it. That often happens after dust settles.)