: That said, very often the people that hurt me rather than tried to understand were very much insisting that I understand them *while* I was trying to and often did understand them or at least was understanding them more than not and making allowances. It's that they were very hung up on previously not being understand and hurt that they couldn't/wouldn't respond with fight *and* flight.
(I know because often later, usually years later, we discussed it. That often happens after dust settles.)
: That doesn't do much anything about what some to many said and did, which usually includes things that cannot be taken back or remedied (such as slander and libel, reputational damages), but it provides insight, which is something at least.