Dumping out my bag.
Yesterday was BAD.
I finally admitted how bad and dialed 988. I've scheduled the next full week off work. I'm going to the behavioral place today in about an hour to ask for help.
I don't know what's wrong with me and why am I this way but it has to change.
Sorry for the sudden drama after the long hiatus.
Don't be sorry for the drama.
It is a good thing you are acknowledging that it is time for some help.
That can be the hardest part!
Good on you.
@chromogirl Thanks. Really. Life is just so fuxking hard for everyone. Adding to anyone's troubles just makes me feel worse. That spiral.
i hear you.
but you can't pour from an empty cup (or something like that).
i discovered that investing in my own infrastructure is the ONLY way to help hold other people up. for real.
Well said !
@LnzyHou @chromogirl I tell people that all the time too. Then think that I'm doing it myself while really just ignoring I guess. It's so deeply rooted that I can't cry without feeling guilt and shame.
@chromogirl @LnzyHou
My wife and I were talking about how I was crying over my grandmother dying which was ironic since she was the one who literally beat the tears out of me as a child.
"Do you want something to cry about?"
"Tears are emotional manipulation. Stop now."
Everything about life is ironic.
@LnzyHou @chromogirl
Except for that song.
Lol
I needed that. Thanks.
Cry your eyes out. Nothing more cathartic 💦
@LnzyHou @chromogirl
Whoever I see today...I already feel badly for.
!!
you mean the professional therapist who has a calling to help people??
@chromogirl @LnzyHou
I told you. This guilt is deep!
I apologize to my surgeons.
@testamonk @LnzyHou
it is super challenging to overcome those conceptions of "weakness" that get instilled in us.
but who doesn't love a challenge!