Someone I'm close to recently spoke positively about shame. Like, there are good reasons and uses for shame.

I'm going to be clear: the only way you can talk positively about shame is if you're comfortable with control and manipulation.

Any system that depends on shame is fragile. Its people are fragile. Their relationships and affiliations are fragile. Shame is unpredictable except that it is destructive.

*Most* people I share my life with know this, and are working to remove shame's power.

@sumpnlikefaith It depends entirely what you mean by 'control'. I absolutely think we should use all the tools in the box to stop people from raping babies, women and children (and men) and killing people and animals (not talking food choices here), setting fires, torturing etc.

There are areas where I think shame is inappropriate such as sexual orientation. But others where it's not.

@TrueBloodNet Okay, let's pull away from the extreme hard-edges of morality (eg murder and rape).

Even in this cursory list of moral concerns, you're separating out killing animals for food vs other reasons.

But to an ethical vegan, for example, what's the difference? To them, killing animals is immoral, full stop.

So here's my question: Do we really want all of society to be caught up in a crossfire of intentional shaming? And who is allowed to decide which of their ends justify any means?