4: I was asked to put relish on the shopping list.
Now I can't read it.

3: I hate going to MC Hammer's house.
He won't let you touch anything.

2: If I'm being subjective, I'd say my favourite band is The Who.
If I was being objective, I'd say it was The Whom.

1: I am joining a secret society of electrical engineers and they just asked me to step into a large coil with a battery attached.
This is their current induction process.