Having to see one that ya grew up in the same house with as a kid, for a long time, ya got into trouble with, ya shared laughs with, shared secrets with, went to Church with, slept in the same bed with, along with our other cousins, when we spent the night at our Grandma's, who ya shared in the joy of having our kids with; your family, your cousin who's more of a Sister to you, on TV talking about losing the grown son that you held as a baby...just, hurts deep down. 4 kids Daddy won't come home