Goodbye duvet cover. Even after swimming around in water and me trying to work with it in the water (I will keep the suggestion by @elbutterfield in mind for less extreme cases), it wouldn't untwist. I chopped it up. Inside were the following:
Two bath towels
Three pillowcases
Two hand towels
One dishtowel
Two dryer sheets

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@LnzyHou
I was initially hoping to make one incision that could then be sutured back, but no dice

@elbutterfield

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