responding to the radio's "hot take" since i wasn't able to call in. some mom was getting her 3yo's ears pierced at claire's & a lady came up to her, called her a disgusting excuse for a mother & said she hoped someone held the mom down & did painful things to her like she just did to her daughter, then added that she had just taught her daughter anyone could do anything they wanted to her body w/o her permission.
callers' hot takes:
1st, it was not that lady's business to publicly criticize & shame that mom. she didn't change anyone's minds about anything.
2nd, circumcision is a poor comparison bc unlike ear piercings there are legitimate medical benefits to circumcision, and it's also done with either a topical anesthetic or a device that painlessly removes the skin over a couple of weeks (not unlike how the umbilical stump dies & falls off)
+
3rd, "people keep calling my daughter a boy" is a shit reason to subject your toddler or infant to a painful unnecessary procedure. get over your insecurities. old ladies kept calling my daughter a boy and i did not care. they were actually mad at me for not correcting them, but seriously, i don't care. she's a baby, she doesn't have gender dysphoria.
4th, if you must pierce, FFS DON'T GO TO CLAIRE'S! go to a professional piercer where a sharp needle is used, not a gun that rams a blunt stud +
through your ear. news flash, ear piercing doesn't hurt at piercing parlors because they use topical anesthetic and the PROPER INSTRUMENTS!
5th "they won't remember the pain" is a stupid reason. i got my ears pierced at 23. 23! & i was none the worse off for waiting that long. i was in a better position to deal with the pain, as well as take care of my piercings responsibly so they didn't get infected. i only wish i had known not to go to claire's, i probably wouldn't have ended up w/scarring
and yes i do kind of agree that it's setting the kid up to allow abuse from others, because your mom is supposed to be the one person who protects you from harm no matter what.
a 3yo doesn't need pierced ears. a newborn doesn't need pierced ears. people misgendering your infant does not justify piercing their ears. ear piercing is not the same as circumcision. and above all...
DON'T FUCKING GO TO CLAIRE'S!
@dietotaku i know my opinion probably means shit, but my mom got my ears pierced when I was a baby and I don’t remember any of it. And if I’m being honest, it’s been such an unimportant event that she doesn’t remember it either. But I think, like most things related to parenting, that it should be a personal decision.
But absolutely don’t fucking go to Claire’s!
@dietotaku ear piercing infants can be a cultural thing. i think it's not a good idea, because infants/toddlers can't take care of their own piercings, and are far more likely than an older child to tear the earrings/studs out of their ears while playing.
that said, if one is going to pierce an infant's ears, either have the doctor/hospital do it or a professional piercer, so that it's safe, sanitary and painless (they can use numbing cream).
@dietotaku another reason not to pierce infant/toddler ears is they can't tell you if they have metal allergies, or you can cause metal allergies
my piercings have closed up & i've thought about getting them redone, but i'm allergic to everything besides Sterling silver, which severely limits any choices in earrings anyway
@redenigma excellent point! reputable piercing parlors use hypoallergenic metals like surgical steel, titanium and sterling silver in their tools & jewelry, but the best way to avoid a metal allergy is to not pierce a child in the first place.
1 said piercings little girls' ears is totally normal & she got her INFANT'S ears pierced bc "people kept calling her a boy"
2 said "does that lady have a boy & did she get him circumcised?"
3 said she got her daughter's ears pierced at TWO DAYS OLD
4 said her ears were pierced as a child by an ENT because she didn't cry when her tonsils were removed o.O;
my hot take: