Every now and then life delivers a blow that momentarily breaks you. Horrible experiences are like amyloid plaque, they build up on you as you pass through this nutso life.

@MidnightRider Yes. Especially since reaching mid-life I sometimes feel a brutal despair—there so little we can do about the agonizing separations, the vulnerabilities…so many incomprehensible realities and unanswered questions. I find the world of my thoughts to be more real than the world around me. I’ll think: perhaps I’m crazy? But then I’m like: nobody notices…guess they are to? Then I let all that go and try to enjoy being alive. Very strange.

@WellWellWell3 @MidnightRider Yes it does. I live in Western NC and we are still recovering from Hurricane Helene. My family came through it relatively easily. We lost power and our frozen food but nothing more. Others lost everything. The damage is surreal.

But I don't feel the despair like you describe. I give those things over to God. I don't fully understand what happened and I ask the same why questions. We volunteered at our church to give out supplies. Helping others helps us.

@danielbsmith I mean I am so glad this method of operation works for you. The problem I have with it in my brain though Daniel? How do I give over to God what God allowed to happen in the first place? Is God ever culpable for being a poor steward of the ant farm that he built Daniel? He works in mysterious ways is a copout.

@MidnightRider What about all of the good things in life? Fine food, a first date, dancing, music, art. Who is responsible for them?

@danielbsmith Frankly , after living in this modern world Daniel? I’d rather believe there is no God, why? Because if there is, I totally disagree with how he manages his HS science project

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@MidnightRider Do you remember leaving the bird site (I'm assuming) and coming to CoSo? Do you remember how that felt, how we had to go through a decompression phase?

Well, losing power after a hurricane is like that. We reconnected with nature a bit and life just slowed down. We grilled out what thawed and ate with family at our picnic table in the driveway. We reconnected however briefly.

Modern life has a way of distancing us from what matters, of distracting us. Take that as you will.

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