Me: Wakes up in recliner, feels something large touch my arm. Performs Kung Fu and flips on iphone light 🔦. Find nothing. Goes to pee and returns to recliner. Feels something like my shirt tag rubbing me, reach in back of shirt, nothing. Again, feel something but lower this time, reach down shirt, but nothing. Decide to rub back on the recliner to scratch but feel multiple stings. Jump up and throw shirt off, tata's flying and Kung Fu chopping. Can't find the MFR ANYWHERE.

@StephanieResists this is a horrifying post. Find and destroy. It cannot just be lounging around, lol.

@Dreaw404 This happened at about 3:45am and it's now 6:11am here. I've been looking and feeling like something is on me ever since. Back is still stinging and burning.