So some friends are doing an ADHD bingo card, and well...um, I'll let mine answer all the questions ever about that. Including the blank for anyone that wants to look it over and do it for themselves. And yes, self diagnosis is valid.

Now for some cool facts about autism and ADHD both.

There's three versions identifiable in the DSM5; to date, this is still being researched so info may change as new break thrus arise.
Inattentive - often referred to as ADD.
Hyperactive-impulsive - referred to as ADHD.
Combined - combined ADHD demonstrate symptoms from both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive ADHD equally. 1/2

There are positives of ADD/ADHD. Hyperfocus, resilience, creativity, hightened empathic nature, compassionate, versatile if spontaneous learners, and at times very high energy sort of people to be around. These are often referred to as our "superpowers", but these do come at an unequal cost to our health and well being. 2/2

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The negatives are quite unequal, as for some of us we do suffer from social anxiety, or generalized anxiety, and a number of other comorbidity issues that exist from lack of supports and treatment when first diagnosed.

Now for some further hard facts: Truth is ADHD and ADD both were not fully understood in the early days of the internet, and for a long time what research was done, wasn't done in a way that could reflect male and female developmental stages with the disorder, so many of the missed signals over the years resulted in well...a lot of us going undiagnosed until our early 30's to our 60's and older. The unfortunate fact is, going undiagnosed and without treatment cuts off 14 years from our lifespan.

However, there is hope. Finding methods to manage the disorders quirks and barriers, as well as ways to visibly and audibly track notifications and newer technology used today has made workarounds significantly easier for many of us and improved our lives in ways that, in the past 30-40 years, were practically unimaginable.

One thing that seems to be a fairly common trait that appears to be widely shared among the ADD/ADHD community is body dysphoria and heightened empathy. For many of us we tend to mask in public spaces to appear "normal" or behavior within expected manners around people we do not know or trust. But stimming can display in ways that most would give us weird looks over, with recent stimulation toys, popit keyfobs and such, we can mask it better and keep it under better control.

But emotional deregulation is fairly common as well among the neurokin of the ADHD and ADD communities. Sometimes we can't control it, it has to come out somehow, and screaming and shouting doesn't always cut it. Sometimes we have to babble it out of our systems, sometimes it's a matter of going for a long angry walk to blow that steam, and other times a big deep compression hug helps get it back to where we can manage it better. Big feels, but few ways to display it as adults is REALLY hard.

It's hard to put it all into words that make sense to a neurotypical mind and experience, but I'm trying my best to frame it in a way that can be explained and understood. Imagine if you will, a balloon, no air in it or anything, just plain ol rubber bouncing about. But you put air in it, it pulls tight right and expand. Well, for us, emotional processing big things is like blowing that balloon up to the max, and straining it's very surface. It'll burst if you put anymore in!

We have to let it out somehow, right? Well, pricking it with a pin will only make things worse and destroy the balloon, so how else do we release it safely without ruining the balloon? By opening it up carefully, and letting it out a little at a time. For some of us, that's exactly what emotional processing can be like. Some burst so easily, while others hide it really well until they can't take anymore and explode and release it all at once. We're habitual about bottling things up.

Even choice paralysis can be really annoying to deal with. It often emerges in conversations about meals, or clothing choices, or little things throughout the day that we don't often focus too much on. It strikes a lot in this household, hubs and I sometimes have had arguments over it. "No you decide on dinner." "I'm out of ideas, what do you feel like?" Ect ect.

It's not necessarily that we can't make up our mind, it's just that sometimes we literally have NO idea what to pick and if no choices are shared, we pretty much go "Aw fuck it" mentally and let the other party decide, whether we're content with the choice or not, simply to avoid the hassle of deciding.

I do know that there are some of us that live with more severe issues alongside with ADD/ADHD, and it can actually drain a lot of energy that's usually expended throughout the normal routines of the day, so for some of us, we adopted the spoon theory as a way to explain how we feel, whether we are up to task, or if we are feeling up to par for anything, whether it's an outing with friends, or dealing with family gatherings (Which can be stressful as hell for many.)

Sidenote, funny story: Friend of mine that is on the spectrum actually thought I meant real spoons when I was discussing with him my mood for the day and ended up sending two packets of 24 new spoons to my home via two day delivery. Needless to say we had a really good laugh over that after I explained what I meant to him.

The really interesting thing about ADD/ADHD is that it does display differently between biological sexes but sometimes display as combined traits in those that are nonbinary as they mature. But this is still something being studied, especially with nonbinary patients.

But yeah...enough info dumping from me for the day. xD

OH, probably late to say this, but info dumping, and sharing interests is one way many of us neurokin show our love and affection to the people around us. Sharing commonalities is our bonding method!

@jaunty Not a problem at all, I sort of do self advocacy and help my friends that have the same disorder to find resources and workarounds with the issues that come up with the disorder in the neurotypical world.

@PaganMother

Thanks for the thread.
I found it really interesting & informative. 💚

@raspberrypanda Most welcome, I sometimes get a wild hair of an idea to post about something that I'm well informed about or have experienced and I like to share my knowledge with those that want to hear it.

@PaganMother Big Thank you and (((💜))) if you want it for these terrific posts. Helps me understand perspective.

@ACG2 Your welcome! Perspective is key in alllll the things these days!

@PaganMother “Sharing commonalities is our bonding method!”

Mine as well. I believe this approach can work for everyone, and especially, for neurodivergents.

@PaganMother One of my roommates says things like "Imma bout to 'sperge out on you..." before info-dumping.
: )

@fugitive247 Hehe yep, I still laugh with my friend Sean about his misinterpretation on that, been a few years since he made that mistake but it still amuses me to no end and he gets a chuckle out of it too.

@PaganMother Masking was natural to me. I've had to do it for so many reasons over time.

Honestly, it didn't occur to me, born with neurotypicality, to do anything else for a long time, other than to fit in.

It feels quite good to come home and not wear masks.

@AskTheDevil @PaganMother Same experience here with masking. While my reasons and experiences are probably different than either of yours, or other's, they are somewhat comparable. At best it's exhausting, at worst you slip and have to deal with the mess that comes after.

@glassramen @PaganMother I think, several times, one of my little "slips" has thrown me into the uncanny valley for the people I was interacting with.

I could see the change - people who'd been perfectly pleasant with me would slowly just start acting like there was a werewolf hiding somewhere in their midst.

Eventually, they'd start looking for things to accuse me of, I presume to give reason to whatever discomfort they could not put their fingers on

@AskTheDevil @PaganMother I feel that. I have a theory that this sort of thing is why a few times throughout my life (supposed) friends would suddenly turn on me. I got better at the masking over time, but eventually you get tired ya know? Slips still happen, but a bit more rarely nowadays. Stay strong friends. Maybe someday we'll all get some good friends who we don't have to mask around.

@glassramen @PaganMother I mostly had this problem with colleagues and coworkers. I pick my friends from the subset of people who are okay with "weird".

@AskTheDevil @PaganMother That's a valid way of handling it. I tended to go the other route of just withdrawing and maintaining like two friends. Luckily one is a carbon copy of myself so we've been friends since high school.

@glassramen @PaganMother I love people in general, but I'm choosy about who I like and accept as a friend.

I'd rather have few, or no friends than a bunch of pretend-friends. That would not be fair to me, and certainly not to them.

@AskTheDevil @glassramen I tend to gather people as something of an adopted family over the years. Most of them are much like myself, as quirky and off the wall. I don't mind it really, some folks can be really difficult to be around, and some don't know how to be inclusive or understanding about the neurodivergent. I don't know how or why people are drawn to me, but I appreciate every one of them because they are all unique and different and I love that, ya know?

@AskTheDevil @glassramen It's kind of like collecting river stones to a geology fan. Every single one of them are different and have their own story to tell in their surfaces and are unique in their make up as well.

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