There are positives of ADD/ADHD. Hyperfocus, resilience, creativity, hightened empathic nature, compassionate, versatile if spontaneous learners, and at times very high energy sort of people to be around. These are often referred to as our "superpowers", but these do come at an unequal cost to our health and well being. 2/2

The negatives are quite unequal, as for some of us we do suffer from social anxiety, or generalized anxiety, and a number of other comorbidity issues that exist from lack of supports and treatment when first diagnosed.

Now for some further hard facts: Truth is ADHD and ADD both were not fully understood in the early days of the internet, and for a long time what research was done, wasn't done in a way that could reflect male and female developmental stages with the disorder, so many of the missed signals over the years resulted in well...a lot of us going undiagnosed until our early 30's to our 60's and older. The unfortunate fact is, going undiagnosed and without treatment cuts off 14 years from our lifespan.

However, there is hope. Finding methods to manage the disorders quirks and barriers, as well as ways to visibly and audibly track notifications and newer technology used today has made workarounds significantly easier for many of us and improved our lives in ways that, in the past 30-40 years, were practically unimaginable.

One thing that seems to be a fairly common trait that appears to be widely shared among the ADD/ADHD community is body dysphoria and heightened empathy. For many of us we tend to mask in public spaces to appear "normal" or behavior within expected manners around people we do not know or trust. But stimming can display in ways that most would give us weird looks over, with recent stimulation toys, popit keyfobs and such, we can mask it better and keep it under better control.

But emotional deregulation is fairly common as well among the neurokin of the ADHD and ADD communities. Sometimes we can't control it, it has to come out somehow, and screaming and shouting doesn't always cut it. Sometimes we have to babble it out of our systems, sometimes it's a matter of going for a long angry walk to blow that steam, and other times a big deep compression hug helps get it back to where we can manage it better. Big feels, but few ways to display it as adults is REALLY hard.

It's hard to put it all into words that make sense to a neurotypical mind and experience, but I'm trying my best to frame it in a way that can be explained and understood. Imagine if you will, a balloon, no air in it or anything, just plain ol rubber bouncing about. But you put air in it, it pulls tight right and expand. Well, for us, emotional processing big things is like blowing that balloon up to the max, and straining it's very surface. It'll burst if you put anymore in!

We have to let it out somehow, right? Well, pricking it with a pin will only make things worse and destroy the balloon, so how else do we release it safely without ruining the balloon? By opening it up carefully, and letting it out a little at a time. For some of us, that's exactly what emotional processing can be like. Some burst so easily, while others hide it really well until they can't take anymore and explode and release it all at once. We're habitual about bottling things up.

Even choice paralysis can be really annoying to deal with. It often emerges in conversations about meals, or clothing choices, or little things throughout the day that we don't often focus too much on. It strikes a lot in this household, hubs and I sometimes have had arguments over it. "No you decide on dinner." "I'm out of ideas, what do you feel like?" Ect ect.

It's not necessarily that we can't make up our mind, it's just that sometimes we literally have NO idea what to pick and if no choices are shared, we pretty much go "Aw fuck it" mentally and let the other party decide, whether we're content with the choice or not, simply to avoid the hassle of deciding.

I do know that there are some of us that live with more severe issues alongside with ADD/ADHD, and it can actually drain a lot of energy that's usually expended throughout the normal routines of the day, so for some of us, we adopted the spoon theory as a way to explain how we feel, whether we are up to task, or if we are feeling up to par for anything, whether it's an outing with friends, or dealing with family gatherings (Which can be stressful as hell for many.)

Sidenote, funny story: Friend of mine that is on the spectrum actually thought I meant real spoons when I was discussing with him my mood for the day and ended up sending two packets of 24 new spoons to my home via two day delivery. Needless to say we had a really good laugh over that after I explained what I meant to him.

The really interesting thing about ADD/ADHD is that it does display differently between biological sexes but sometimes display as combined traits in those that are nonbinary as they mature. But this is still something being studied, especially with nonbinary patients.

But yeah...enough info dumping from me for the day. xD

OH, probably late to say this, but info dumping, and sharing interests is one way many of us neurokin show our love and affection to the people around us. Sharing commonalities is our bonding method!

@sentientdessert Heh you too huh? Yeah I did as well when I saw the list and went "oh, well fuck half that..no...about 90% of that is me."

@PaganMother my feeling in a meme

@sentientdessert Don't feel bad, my husband just did his.

@PaganMother

@sentientdessert Yeeeeep auditory processing is where you mishear, or don't make sense of some sounds or words that you hear. Sometimes it takes repeated listening to actually catch the meaning of what is being said and it doesn't quite click in the brain at first. I've had the issue for a while but I find having music playing, even softly, helps me focus more on what's being said so I can hear and understand it more clearly.

@sentientdessert For some they experience it like a garble, you know something is being said but you can't quite make sense of it.

@PaganMother Ah, I was wondering if it was like misophonia, but no, I do not have that.

@sentientdessert I do think it's linked, but no, not quite.

@PaganMother Example, I can't stand when anyone is chewing food and their mouth pops open while doing it... also have a similar thing for tactile things... I can't touch some fabrics because of it... sets my teeth on edge.

@sentientdessert Texture sensativities and audio sensativities is actually fairly common in folks with autism and ADHD both. There's some materials I can't stand to touch because it also sets my teeth on edge but makes my inner ear hurt for some reason. Wool and cotton balls for instance, they really wreck my senses. But soft materials, or silky materials like brushed cotton and brushed wool oddly enough don't set it off as much.

@sentientdessert Funnily, I remembered that I have bamboo fabrics in the household and how they felt when I first opened their packages. So silky smooth and strong! Makes for great towels and bed sets.

@PaganMother @sentientdessert whaaaaaat.
Sand! Chalk! Flour! Cotton!

*goes to get an adhd test*

@Beanc @sentientdessert Blackboards and chalk for some reason set off my audio sensativities, every time I hear a chalkboard in use, I immedately get this urge to flee the room to escape the sound.

@PaganMother @sentientdessert I’m currently cringing.

@Beanc @sentientdessert The texture of it is kind of cool, long as I have ear plugs or buds in, it won't bother me to use it. Flour? The texture is kind of nice run through the fingers but it's annoying as hell when it's tacky wet and dough-like. It's one reason I don't bake as much as I used to. It just bugs me out too much.

@PaganMother @sentientdessert ewwww no stop don’t make me touch it

@Beanc @sentientdessert I know right? Corn starch have the same effect for you?

@Beanc @sentientdessert I noticed cornstarch and potato/rice starches feel almost silky to the touch dry, much easier to handle moist for baking and treat making.

@PaganMother stage already 😭

Lol really tho, Anything with that superfine ultra powedry feeling.

@Beanc Oof, that makes sense though!

@AverageCitizen I might have to look that book up sometime. Interesting array on the card!

@PaganMother I got it from the library but it is so good that I ended up buying a copy from Amazon so my hubby and older son could read it too. And the sequel, Delivered from Distraction.

@PaganMother It is appreciated! Thanks for the info. 💜

@jaunty Not a problem at all, I sort of do self advocacy and help my friends that have the same disorder to find resources and workarounds with the issues that come up with the disorder in the neurotypical world.

@PaganMother

Thanks for the thread.
I found it really interesting & informative. 💚

@raspberrypanda Most welcome, I sometimes get a wild hair of an idea to post about something that I'm well informed about or have experienced and I like to share my knowledge with those that want to hear it.

@PaganMother @raspberrypanda

Great read! Thanks for the information it's important to share 😎

@PaganMother Big Thank you and (((💜))) if you want it for these terrific posts. Helps me understand perspective.

@ACG2 Your welcome! Perspective is key in alllll the things these days!

@PaganMother “Sharing commonalities is our bonding method!”

Mine as well. I believe this approach can work for everyone, and especially, for neurodivergents.

@PaganMother One of my roommates says things like "Imma bout to 'sperge out on you..." before info-dumping.
: )

@PaganMother That is so spectrum! : )

@PaganMother

Yay, #spoonies!

@fugitive247 Hehe yep, I still laugh with my friend Sean about his misinterpretation on that, been a few years since he made that mistake but it still amuses me to no end and he gets a chuckle out of it too.