I um. I started a fundraising goal for gender-affirming care on my ko-fi page in hopes to build up enough funds to afford membership with Plume.co to assist with transitioning and navigating the dysphoria I've been struggling with increasingly over the last few years. I know things are difficult right now, but every dollar makes a difference. Please, I can do art renders and profile images as gifts in return, any help, is better than none at all. https://ko-fi.com/paganmother #CoSo #LGBTQ
I broke down earlier this evening discussing what's going on in the wet-works/brain with my husband and the concern on his face and eyes hurt to see. I bury a LOT of the trauma and pain of this because I needed to keep going, not for myself but for my family. Michigan is a safe state for transitioning transgender folk, that I can confirm. It's hard to talk about this, to anyone. But hurts most talking to my husband about it in all truth. /2
I tend to bottle things up, a trauma response unfortunately, from the first time I came out of the closet at the age of 8. Emotionally it's toxic as hell, but I'm working to undo that habit of survival. I just want to live my life, as the person I know I am on the inside, but I can't when the outer shell doesn't match, at all. Can you imagine for a moment what that's like? To wake up with a body that isn't really your own? It's scary as hell, and after living this way a while, it hurts too. /3
I don't know how I managed to live as long as I have as AFAB when everything in me is screaming tomboy, masculine aspects. /end