I received a funny comment today. I'd mentioned that I write about a wide range of topics on my newsletter - democracy watch, media literacy, global humanism, climate change, economics, scientific literacy, historiography - but this more conservative person then explained why he doesn't engage with it.
The "moods" comment is hilariously patronizing, but I also know that, while I advocate for constructive dissent as critical to democratic thinking, many see dissent as intrinsically negative. /x
@MLClark
Men don't have "moods" I suppose. 🤔
Some would have you believe "hungry" "horny" and "sleepy" are it, but what a self-limiting POV!
We had a great convo with one of the nephews yesterday. When he shared how surprised he'd been to see a soccer player cry, his dad, his mum, and I all took turns talking about how healthy it can be to express sadness that way - each using examples of other strong male role models who've cried in public. It was such a great moment to see him onboard this as part of how he can be.
@MLClark It's sad that a lot of women also push that stereotype. Like it's ok for a man to get angry, but anything else is too girly.
When I worked at a bookstore, some of the WORST customers were older women afraid that books with too much colour were inappropriate for their boys. I literally had one grandmother upset that we were marketing colour boardbooks to *infant boys*. Others would expressly push their preteens away from sweeter YA reads to ones with more violence and grimmer settings. 🙄
What a toxic world we weave sometimes!
Or if the kid comes home with injuries, "Boy, you best be telling me the other kid went away worse. No son of mine starts fights, but he always finishes them!"
There is a time and a place for many forms of response to bullies, but shaming your hurting child for not having been "victorious" in whatever fight they just came from is no way to make them feel safer at home than they were with the bully at school. We lay *so* many psychological wounds upon one another from early on.
@MLClark I used to think it was harder to grow up as a girl, but boys have plenty of different stuff to carry. 😕
Definitely! Quite a few studies suggest that socioeconomic precarity and political instability yield *much* more extreme outcomes for young boys than young girls. When a household gains more financial stability, or when a country gains more peaceful conditions, male "behavioural problems" plummet much more dramatically.
We don't like to talk about the role of environment on individual outcomes--and yet, a world less toxic for girls is also one less toxic for all. 🤞🏻 One day.
@MLClark @nonayadambidnes Wait, what? You're telling me there's actually an answer to what I thought was a purely rhetorical question: "Why are men?"
🤣🤣🤣 I know, right?
For years, women and their "wandering wombs" were considered a mystery - formed by an ill wind or stunted "seed" during conception - but lately lads get a turn at carrying the intrigue!
So don't let me take away the mystery with tedious social science! I'm just always rooting for you fellas getting to be your full, wonderful, wacky, gentle-strong, loving, hurting, curious, ever-growing, sweet, serious, & sometimes gassy selves.
@MLClark "Are you sad? Did you get bullied at school? Did some girl break up with you? Come on son, stop whinging like a girl. Let's go buy you a gun." 🙄