Every person with bipolar is different. I can tell when I'm in a downcycle because I have an unbearable ache to be silent--I can't stand hearing the sound of my voice, or seeing any sign of myself in the world--& I'm furious with myself for not just going away & being silent forever.
It passes, & my downcycles used to be much, much worse, but when they come around they carry such history.
The trick is not being angry at all the waste.
Feed gratitude for still being here at all.
I'm sorry you're there right now.
I know how hard it is to be compassionate with oneself when we're thinking about what we painfully perceive as time lost or wasted. Maybe we need to try and think about how we can reframe the sense of regret. Easier said than done, I know. But probably worth the effort. If I get anywhere with it, I'll let you know. 🧡 🧡 🧡
I thought I should clarify that of course the time lost to the lows or the darkness is real, and it affects us in all kinds of ways. It's the anger and regret and self-punishment that go along with it that could use all the compassion we can find to throw at it. 🧡
I think of it as not letting the past take even more out of the present. 🫂 Thank you for your presence, and your understanding, and above all for the care of your words here. I can't really control when the downcycles come on, but I do have coping mechanisms for them, and I'm just so thankful for the kindness I found here when I shared at all.
Thank you for your friendship. 💛
I hope today was very good to you.