I grew up a Value Village & Kmart kid, home bowl-based haircuts, Halloween costumes out of what was lying around, & *tons* of insistence that I didn't need things because my sibs didn't quite connect asking for things with my parents always fighting.
Years later, I still wonder if I'm playing out Pratchett's economic theory. Yesterday I found 2 pairs of shoes for 25CAD apiece & felt proud of myself. & that's fine (money's tight) but *could* I mentally invest more in better things if it weren't?
@MLClark
Profound.
I have this weird fear of expensive things. Costly to fix or replace. I don’t like any “thing” meaning too much to me.
And I’ve both benefited & suffered from this thinking.
One huge example- I ignored “here’s the price you are approved for” when buying a house over 20 yrs ago. I bought low. This cheap house I live in, is the biggest reason I was able to retire early when Covid showed up.
But the buying cheap mentality effed me with quite a few vehicles. 😂
Great examples, Anouk. I love how they serve as a reminder that frugality and caution aren't intrinsic virtues or failures. They need contextual awareness (and a bit of luck!) to be applied in a way that will serve us well.
The problem is that we might not have much experience with making other choices at all, so it is harder for us to make them even when, on paper, they are clearly sound financial decisions.
Thank you so much for sharing these hard-won insights. Congrats on the home!
@MLClark My spouse and I both grew up in very financially constrained homes, and times were tough when my son was young. I'm glad we've been on the same page. But we all recognized it has affected our thinking.
You highlight a really important point: later in my life, I met others who'd experienced financial hardship, but *without* the vicious antagonism that consumed my parents. I've met people who grew up in poverty with a sense of solidarity rather than shame, & that can make all the difference.
So I don't doubt the hard years continue to shape your thinking--but I'm cherishing the gift you gave your son, in being united even in hard times with your spouse. Well done to you both.
Poverty mentality! It's quite a trip.
(But hey, on the plus side, at least I don't have to worry about being *too* frugal until I'm in a better financial situation to begin with. 😅 Looking forward to having that problem down the line!)