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When I was a kid we had an Italian plum tree in our yard. It was decades old and every year produced an abundance of the most luscious plums it's been my privilege to enjoy. Sometimes the branches would be so laden with fruit they'd actually break towards the ends.

Inevitably, many would fall on the ground once ripe, and ferment there. Then squirrels would eat them.

If you have never seen a drunk squirrel, it is one of the funniest things on the planet.

Those little rodents would get absolutely shitfaced and turn into total clowns. They'd run halfway up the trunk and lose their grip and fall, or they'd leap from one branch to another and miss. When they sat up they'd wobble and fall over. Funniest was when they tried to leap at the trunk to climb it and would smash into it face first instead.

The tree wasn't terribly tall, and squirrels don't have much mass, so fortunately none got terribly injured, mostly just dazed for a while. We tried to keep on top of cleaning up the decaying plums, but weren't always successful.

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