Mom spent her first night in memory care a couple of nights ago. It didn't go well. She panicked when it was time for dad to leave, & broke down completely.
Apparently this is normal, & it was a detail we (the family) didn't really grasp until it happened.
Totally makes sense tho'. She's moving into a new place, & moves suck ass already anyway, & now she can't sleep in the same bed as dad & their dogs anymore.
She especially misses the dogs. Which I think is kind of funny, since she didn't mention missing *dad*...
Sibling & niblings visited her yesterday, & apparently it went well. She's feeling better, bit by bit. & she'll probably relapse, have times when she's fine & times when she's miserable, as she adjusts. & maybe she'll never adjust 100%, but as long as she's safe & mostly content, that's all we can ask for.
& she's not moving out, even if she wants to. She can't be by herself, dad can't take care of her, & he has POA. So it's a done deal.
Good news is the dogs can visit her. The facility has a policy that you can bring pets for a visit, so long as you provide the front office with a vaccination record. So mom can't sleep with the dogs, but will get to see them sometimes.
I'm heading over there tomorrow with some photos & my SO & maybe a wreath to hang on her door.
But I'm pretty sure she does or will miss dad too, because he's been her main security & rock for certainly the last few years, not to mention much of their lives together. Of COURSE she's going to break down.