When you are talking with someone about a sensitive subject: sexuality, gender, domestic issues, past trauma, etc.:
Do you want to talk about it?>>>>>>> Why?
@AndersonArtwork okay. So in this case I've given you the option to tell me that you'd rather me ask you why. Going forward I would know how you feel and no one is the worse for it.
Do you want to talk about it gives all the power to the person who is going through some things instead of putting them on the spot.
Some people thrive when forced to deal with things head on, others wilt if forced too early.
Exactly!
The Responsibility Statement in AA is a telling sentence in the words they chose for it.
"When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help, I want the Hand of AA to be there...and for that I am responsible."
The operative phrase is "reaches out for help"
Not "Chase them down because we see they need healing and force it on them"
@Hobyrim depends on who i'm talking to & why the topic came up.
is it to tell someone they're not alone? to demonstrate understanding & support? then sure, i'll mine my personal trauma for them. just don't want to make it about me.
it is b/c someone is curious? then depends on if i think they're asking in good faith & whether i have the spoons in that moment to do it. better have a purpose to educate tho.
it someone is being an ass? they don't deserve to hear my story & they can fuck off.
@Hobyrim
Only when it's going to help with healing
Otherwise, what's the point?
I am in recovery from Alcoholism & Drug Addiction. I talk about it in 12 Step meetings and as a Sponsor in those, all the time.
But the purpose of talking then is to help others & myself to heal...then grow into something better, stronger & healthier
I'm not interested in playing victim. I am interested in being a SURVIOR