From now on, every time Trump says: "I wasn't convicted of rape..." he is legally required to add "...because my dick is too small"

And then he has to stick out the end of his little finger and wiggle it back and forth like the Angry Inch in demonstration.

What?

Okay, no. Technically no, not under penalty of law per se.

But if you elect me president, I'll sign the Executive Order making it so on Day One.