Nobody is helped by your speculation, even if you mean it in a “loving” manner. Nobody kicks themself harder than the spouse or a family member of a person who flamed out and self termed.

If you don’t have intrusive thoughts, or periods of darkness which lead to those thoughts, thank whatever deity you believe in and hug your family. Keep a casual eye on the folks you know who burn hot. Be there, don’t be intrusive it won’t help, just be there.