@CriticalCupcake It wasn't my choice to wear this.

Or

My other outfit is a devil.

@CriticalCupcake Here ya go:

You better watch out.
OR
Santa’s ‘naughty list’ spy.

@CriticalCupcake go take your nap, human.
I promise you'll wake from it...

@CriticalCupcake My mama's a lampshade

OR

Little Red Riding Hood's much cuter sibling

@CriticalCupcake I'm going to shelf something in your shoe, Susan. See how elfy you like it.

@CriticalCupcake Instead of Elf on a Shelf, it's Cat Planning Your Imminent Doom.

@CriticalCupcake I'll see your Tree On Kitty and raise you a Claw In The Jaw

@CriticalCupcake Ho! Ho! Ho! I'm going to Santa Claws you while you're asleep, hooman.

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