Honestly, I can't scream with rage and fall into a sea of my own tears. I'm not saying you shouldn't. I'm saying I am incapable of it. That's a big part of what PTSD has done to me. That's how I've survived this long.

So I'm going to keep knitting. Keep making mudballs. Keep praying to those I pray to. Keep finding something to keep me going every day.

Please don't think it's because I don't care enough.