I stayed offline most of today, just like I did with the one last month. I almost made it all the way without thinking about what day it's recognized as. I don't know if it will ever stop hurting. Probably not. I've discussed how I grieve with therapists. They say I just stay aware of it longer than most people. Sometimes I do wish I couldn't love so much. But he taught me. And he's not here anymore. So I have to do it.