#caturday dictionary
bed with treats - go to room and have a snack
food - food, not alive
garage - explore the garage, cover windshield with paw prints
marauding - See: out
no - you have my attention, what do you want?
out - go outside and look for creatures to kill
pet the kitty - sniff a hand and if it's okay then allow petting, bite just a little
sweet kitty - jump onto fuzzy blanket, knead and suckle it looking for milk, while being petted
swim - balance on edge of pool to drink water
Bask in Safety
A Lizard's Guide for How to Act Around Cats
#1 Don't be around cats
#2 Do not bask by the door. Cats come out of those doors.
#3 Run. Fast.
#4 If you reach a crevice where the cat cannot reach, stop. Do not turn around and run back past the cat. Remember, the perfect crevice is the enemy of the good enough crevice.
I must report, by way of obituary, that a lizard just violated all four of those guidelines.
@walterbays Cats understand. They just don't give a single fuck.
A dog can understand and obey 50 commands. A cat can understand 100 commands, and may sometimes obey 1. "Come eat."😄