People have this expectation of me to always take the "higher road"; to always be the one that, no matter what people do to me, or say to me, or do to people I care about etc, that I will never be angry about it and I will always be understanding and forgiving. I think this comes from people not understanding what #stoicism is, but also because people - especially white ones - often call Black women dangerous or unhinged when expressing normal and justified emotions.
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The #stoics referred to uncontrolled emotions as "passions".
Basically passions were things that caused debilitating emotional suffering or wounds on the soul.
Emotions exist in #stoicism, just not the "dangerous and unhinged" ones that cause people to basically behave like you see everyone behave in the world today.
Logic and reason should come before emotions. Logic and reason help you to determine the most appropriate emotion for a given circumstance. They don't replace emotions.
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Think first. Feel second.
It's not ... don't feel at all.
That's not how human beings work and it's not how they should work to be well balanced and healthy people.
Logic and reason are important for critical thinking and various kinds of emotional and psychological literacy ...
Giving in to "passions" is the most destructive force to all of humanity, which should be very clear and obvious to anyone who pays attention to the state of the world at any given point in time.
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The logic and reason happens very quickly for me and "emotional reactions" are rare ... and most people who know me well will tell you that I use emotions more theatrically just for dramatics sake if I'm trying to push a passionate point forward in a lecture or something like that but uncontrolled emotions don't exist for me and they haven't since I was in middle school when I saw everyone around me behaving absolutely like rabid animals which was terrifying and left scars on me for life.
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Emotional reactions aren't the same as "having emotions". That should be obvious but this is where I think people get stuff twisted because they lack critical thinking skills.
I have plenty of emotions, just not emotional reactions.
I have reactions to things that are based on logic, reason, analysis, critical thinking, and higher order thinking. There is a process involved in allowing me to make the best, most tempered, most logical decisions.
It doesn't mean I don't feel things.
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I feel a lot of things ... I just don't use those feelings as a foundation for making any kind of important decisions.
Stoics believed passions to be "emotional suffering" ... they were the kinds of emotions that caused deep wounds or trauma ... they were emotions that caused irrational behavior and created dangerous situations between people.
Passions have no place in a reasonable society that understands the value of emotional and psychological literacy and critical thinking.
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A great place for passions is in creativity ... in art ... in theater ... in acts of creative will that draw on raw emotions from the depths of the soul to birth various things into being. Passions are great for things like that ... for inspiration, for poetry, for music ...
Not so great for day to day life, dealings with others, making decisions that effect millions of lives or can change the lives of others. Not so great when it's about causing others harm or even life and death.
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𝘞𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘰 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘱𝘰𝘯 𝘶𝘱𝘰𝘯 𝘶𝘴, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨, 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳. 𝘗𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘭𝘴, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵. - Seneca
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𝘠𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳, 𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦, 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘯𝘰 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘷𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘭𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴. - Seneca
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People say that I often appear calm and unmoved by things and this is mainly based on the fact that they want me to react the way that they react to things.
They expect me to be unreasonable, over emotional, uncontrolled, "passionate", loud, brash, obnoxious, conforming, mundane, and otherwise behave in ways they are used to seeing everyone around them behave including themselves.
They gauge my behavior on the behavior of psychopaths, bullies, angry and emotionally dysregulated people.
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I have long stopped asking what is wrong with THINKING before making decisions.
I have long stopped asking why people prefer to be ANGRY rather than using LOGIC to determine the best course of action.
I have long stopped wondering why no one I have met seems capable of critical thinking or evolving beyond a 3rd grade understanding of how to see the world and make decisions within it.
That stuff is none of my business.
I focus on being my best self and doing my best in the world.
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My best self is different from other people's best selves ... and vice versa because we are all very different from one another and that's OK.
But if your version of your best self is an emotionally dysregulated, angry, negative, selfish, bullying menace to society and you exist solely to delight in other people's pain or to cause other people pain and discomfort ... if you delight in passions because it allows you to hurt yourself or others, I'd say you need help, not celebration.
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Passions are disobedient to reason. Passions are desires, cravings, fears or any other emotion that keep us from making decisions based on reason, logic, and principals.
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘭, 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘶𝘨𝘯𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦.
- Marcus Aurelius
Many people ask me what I first read as a child that turned me onto #stoicism and it didn't really work like that given I was 9, 10, 11 when I first came into contact with stoicism. I stumbled upon stoicism thanks to an obsession I had with the movie Clash Of The Titans - ok mainly just Harry Hamlin - and I was interested in Greek mythology which is what I dove into whenever my mother dropped me at the YMCA or the library when she didn't want to deal with me. I HAPPENED UPON stoic quotes.
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They were written / translated in such a way that they were easy to read and understand even though I was a kid and they seemed DEEPLY PROFOUND when I opened up some random book with a statue of some Greek guy on the front and right in front of me were lines that spoke very much to someone suffering daily, brutal, physical and emotional abuse
𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙞𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨.
𝙁𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙤𝙢 𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙤𝙣 𝙗𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡.
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It really was just that simple ... just that easy to be ... transformed by simple truths that had never occurred to me before.
𝙋𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙗𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙗𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢.
and on and on. It was like everything I read and understood was speaking directly to the things I was going through and it all just happened naturally from there.
I think people discover religion in the same way ... opening a Bible and feeling like they are spoken to.
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I found freedom in that book that day ... which was, to be honest, a HORRIBLE book on stoicism with really badly translated quotes ... BUT it wasn't above my head or beyond my understanding ... I held onto that book for dear life ... and I would flip through it after EVERY beating and read these simple one or two line sentences that made things so much clearer.
𝙒𝙝𝙤 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧? 𝘼𝙣𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙪𝙥𝙤𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙚𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙚𝙚𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙙.
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My diary during that period is a really fascinating interpretation of how I incorporated stoicism into survival skills ...
It wasn't until I was a bit older that I learned that the man who had gotten my attention the most was Epictetus who was himself a slave who suffered in his own way ... and it became even more profound for me.
Philosophy, psychology, spiritual focus and understanding ... all before the age of 18. I became enlightened early and it literally saved my life.
“𝘈𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭," 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘳𝘺, "𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵." 𝘈𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯, 𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘲𝘶𝘰𝘳: 𝘯𝘢𝘺, 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘻𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘩, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳.
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