#MoonsofMadness is a first-person, story-driven cosmic horror game where the scientific exploration of Mars meets the supernatural dread of #Lovecraft.
I DO NOT like horror games.
I DO NOT like cosmic horror.
That doesn't mean that I don't know TONS about it ... it just means I don't purposely engage with content that celebrates or expands on it.
Sometimes I like to challenge myself ONLY until I feel like I am falling into something harmful.
𝘔𝘰𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘔𝘢𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭-𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘢𝘣𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦.
Arousingly macabre is a great way to explain why a lot of people like games like this or films like this. They like FEELING things. They like having feelings PULLED from them ... especially when they go through life in such deeply controlled states. Feeling strong emotions in controlled states brought on by media is very ... SAFE and can be cathartic.
2/
Playing a game that brings me back to states like that is LITERALLY trauma inducing and can really be harmful for me. So I avoid horror games and any kind of game that uses those emotions as a mechanic ... It's absolutely NOT HEALTHY for people with PTSD or other trauma related mental regulation issues. In other words, such games can create harm, even if they are experienced in safe environments.
Some people like to feel these ways because it's fun and temporary. For me it's akin to self-harm.
#MoonsofMadness is getting refunded ...
It was something I was willing to try ... but the result, in even a short amount of time, was causing me emotional harm.
I'm not big on that idea ... I don't consider emotions like FEAR, DREAD, HELPLESSNESS, ANXIETY, PANIC, and FUTILITY to be things that I want to invite into my emotional or spiritual being. I literally grew up in a household where I felt those things CONSTANTLY in addition to dealing with various forms of abuse. Spending your childhood in constant states of hyper-vigilance, pain, fear, and fight or flight wreaks havoc on not just your mental state but also on your physical body.
3/