I'm really curious about the toxic trait of centering oneself in things that don't concern you. This seems to be a trait almost exclusive to white men but I have kind of seen it occasionally with white women ... rarely though.

I learn a lot from people that I know in a variety of professions. I'm big on asking lots of questions because I love to learn from people who love what they do and are passionate about sharing / teaching.

The keyword being "ASK" ...

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In my personal dictionary there is passive centering and aggressive centering ... white people (both men and women) tend to do both. But white men especially tend to be aggressive centering types.

I think that white male aggressive centering is one of the primary reasons the Internet is 99% a cesspool. It never used to be and at my age I do remember pre-public Internet times well.

I wonder why this trait is so specific to men ... why their reality, perspectives, and knowledge is "above all".

I aggressively block both aggressive and passive centering types. I grew up in a family of toxic narcissistic self-centering people and those traits stand out to me loudly.

There are ways of sharing information with others both in your own space and also in others that doesn't have to be aggressively or passively centering.

Not everyone is asking for you to step into their space and share. It's important to know your place especially while within other people's personal or virtual space.

When I taught communications I always asked people why they didn't treat online communications in the same way they treated offline ones.

Some people had very clear reasons why they didn't consider online encounters with other people the same as offline ones ... but those answers were often about dehumanizing online presences as if they weren't real (scary though).

Some answers were more parasocial in nature as far as feeling inappropriately close or entitled to people online etc

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Would you walk over to someones table at a restaurant and start volunteering your opinions or knowledge simply because you overheard two people having a discussion in a public space? Would you do this in an elevator as well? Would you feel the need to center yourself between two people who are strangers to you and start telling them what you think about the subjects they are discussing? Is that your place? If you think it is I would deeply question why.

@thewebrecluse But social media is more like a circle of acquaintances at a book club discussing together. Except DM which is more like the private conversations you describe.

No SM has come up with a model analogous to the neighborhood pub. Where you walk over to a table and say, excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear you mention Frida Kahlo. I love her. Might I join you?

@walterbays Your example ... "I couldn't help but overhear" ... that would work in a few places but not in others. That would also be welcome in several specific type places, but then not in others.

As I said ... knowing your place in someone elses space is important.

Social media isn't a circle of acquaintances because social media is open to strangers and also allows for blocking and muting ... the controls exist because it's not a social circle unless you moderate it to be one.