I'm really curious about the toxic trait of centering oneself in things that don't concern you. This seems to be a trait almost exclusive to white men but I have kind of seen it occasionally with white women ... rarely though.
I learn a lot from people that I know in a variety of professions. I'm big on asking lots of questions because I love to learn from people who love what they do and are passionate about sharing / teaching.
The keyword being "ASK" ...
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In my personal dictionary there is passive centering and aggressive centering ... white people (both men and women) tend to do both. But white men especially tend to be aggressive centering types.
I think that white male aggressive centering is one of the primary reasons the Internet is 99% a cesspool. It never used to be and at my age I do remember pre-public Internet times well.
I wonder why this trait is so specific to men ... why their reality, perspectives, and knowledge is "above all".
Much of it is about fear: fear of being shown up as weak, ignorant, 'lame'; the valuing above all things of being respected by the unrespectable. A thousand voices from boyhood on saying 'You're not good enough, you never will be good enough,' often accompanied by violent abuse. And internalizing those voices, they counter it with bluster and self-motivating talk, and a constant search for someone they can portray as weaker than themselves.
@DavidSalo This is something I can certainly understand on a basic level ... women have this same kind of detrimental self talk that they battle too ... but it doesn't cause them to self-center themselves into other people's lives or business ... instead it tends to shrink them and make them have self-doubt. I think there is a saying about the strength of white male audacity ... I think if women had HALF as much confidence as white men had audacity the world would look VERY different 🤣
@DavidSalo That's actually a really great assessment and explanation. David. Much appreciated contribution to this ❤️
@thewebrecluse
You're right. I think men and women are offered very different ways of asserting their place in the world. I can't speak authoritatively on this, but I guess that many men are surrounded by peer groups that are exactly the opposite of supportive: that deride them when they fail, and where each member is constantly trying to one-up the other. They're alone with nothing to rely on and in constant danger of losing face. They have arrogance not self-confidence, rivals not friends.