Neurotypical people tend to favor INTERPRETING over LISTENING.
When I taught communication, this came up often ... the idea that most communication fails were based on MISINTERPRETATION and not an inability to HEAR or LISTEN which are two different things entirely.
There is a lot of ... "This is what I THINK someone is TRYING to MEAN" ... instead of simply LISTENING and HEARING what someone is ACTUALLY SAYING.
However, individual realities mean everyone has different dictionaries ...
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𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘔𝘈𝘕𝘠 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, 𝘱𝘩𝘺𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦.
𝘔𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 – 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘵 – 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭, 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘶𝘱𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮. 𝘔𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺.
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𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯’𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺. 𝘉𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦’𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 – 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭 – 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴.
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 + 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘩𝘺𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 + 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 = 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥.
𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘭𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯.
- Elaine Barlow
We are not taught how to communicate in our formative years when brain and neurobiological development is at its peak. We learn how to TALK, REACT and HEAR ... but not how to COMMUNICATE, UNDERSTAND and LISTEN ...
Those skills are things we "pick up" as we go through life unless you go into college studying communication or you make it a point to focus most of your life on linguistics, morphology, and psychology.
Communication is crucial to human interactions and most people suck at it.
@thewebrecluse This is what looping (or active listening) is good at addressing.
When we have confirmation of communication in the mix, everything gets much clearer, even if it takes longer and feels somewhat stilted.
When people start doing this, and they begin to get a sense of how common they misinterpret someone else's intentions, in big and small ways, it is staggering.
Taking into consideration personalized dictionaries, cultural and social language, and #PreferredConnotation ... you end up with an impossible communication gap that requires TONS of duty, double duty, and triple duty before things can become clear to all parties involved.
In fact, it rarely happens at all.